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Tuesday, 17 August 2010
I am feeling vaguely smug - I managed not to eat anything until dinner at 7, and then I didn't eat anything after either. Feeling quite pleased with myself as it is pretty rare that I don't eat before or after dinner - usually it is at least one side, if not both. I had better have lost weight tomorrow, or I will be furious. I am fairly confident I will have but you never know. I weighed myself at midnight, in my pyjamas, and I weighed the same then as I did naked yesterday morning, and although my weight was lower today than yesterday, I am hoping that means it will have gone down again tomorrow. It has 10 hours to lose 1lb (including pyjama weight) to make me slightly lower than today, although obviously I would like to be lower than that. It should be ok, yes? I really hope so. I always want to bang my head against the wall when I have gained weight, and it is quite a hard wall, as I have learnt from previous experience. I shouldn't be so pleased with myself for not eating, but I just can't help it. If I could do that every day then I would. Losing weight means more to me than anything else I can think of at the moment.
I am a 24 year old female, currently embroiled in the Mental Health minefield. My diagnonsense is Borderline Personality Disorder, and I also have problems with Depression, Anxiety and disordered eating. Bippidee is my nickname for BPD, as stolen from the fantastic mentalnurse.
If you know me in real life, then please respect my wish for anonymity here.
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