I feel ill today. Yesterday I had a headache all day, and my throat felt a little uncomfortable, but not bad. Overnight I kept waking up with it really hurting, and I am just not feeling very well generally today. I think I just have a cold with a sore throat - the cold side of it isn't really too bad, but I am rather blocked up, and I have a headache and earache, and very sore, hurting throat. One of my first thoughts was that maybe I wouldn't be as hungry and would be able to eat less if I wasn't feeling well, but I ate lunch, and will have something for dinner. I feel a little bit sick, but I am also a little bit hungry, so I think I will need something. Unfortunately.
In slightly better news, I did manage to get my weight down a bit today from yesterday - not an enormous amount, 0.6 of a pound, but it is better than nothing. It still means that I have only lost just over a pound so far this week though, and I am not going to lose nearly a pound by tomorrow, so I have missed my target yet again. Feel pretty useless - I should be able to lose 2 bloody pounds a week - that isn't much to ask. I really wanted to lose a decent amount of weight before I went on holiday, because I know I will gain when I am away. I really want to take the scales on holiday with me, but I don't know if my mum will let me. I can't imagine going a whole week without weighing at the moment though, it would just be too hard. I was saying yesterday about not really having any clothes to take away because nothing fits. My mum told me to buy some clothes that fit me. My dad told me to lose weight so I could fit into my clothes. Not sure either response was terribly helpful. As I have said before, I absolutely refuse to buy clothes that fit me now, because it feels too much like giving into fatness, but I am trying to lose weight to get back into my clothes, but it just isn't happening. They did both say that I wasn't fat, but that didn't make me feel any better, because I can see I am fat, and my mum told me I didn't look like I had gained weight when I gained 24lbs, so I don't really trust what she says. I wish it was as easy to lose weight as it is to gain it. Gaining 2lbs a week would be ridiculously easy, and yet losing it is so difficult. Definitely not fair.
Dear Mama, on uncertainty
1 week ago