I am not feeling good today. I don't know why. I just feel kind of flat and low and a bit shit. I didn't sleep that well last night. I kept thinking of things that bother me and upset me, and just woke up this morning feeling really flat. I tried to go back to sleep, but that wasn't happening, and now I am not really sure what to do with myself. There are things I really need to do, like wash my hair, which is currently pretty disgusting, but I just can't be bothered. And then I weighed myself and I was nearly a pound heavier than yesterday, which made me feel even worse. And I don't even know why. And I took a couple of laxatives last night, but they've not done anything, and that is frustrating me.
I didn't used to understand laxatives. Why people took them. They don't make you lose weight, so what is the point, and why take so many? I am kind of starting to see it. If I haven't been to the toilet for a couple of days, which is fairly frequently, particularly if I am restricting, then I start thinking about how that will affect my weight. So a few months back I bought some laxatives. I had no intention of abusing them - I just thought I would take one when I wanted to go to the toilet. The packet said one or two, so I thought one would be enough as I didn't usually use them. And it was, and it was all fine. And then one stopped working so I started taking two. Now two don't seem to be working, and I am kind of pissed off. Pissed off because I don't want to end up like some people I know who take 20 at a time, because 2 stopped working, and then 4 stopping working etc. And pissed off because I don't know why they aren't working when I don't even take them very often. I don't want to have to take loads of laxatives, but if 2 don't work then what am I supposed to do? I can see how easy it would be to just keep taking more and more, and every day, to feel empty. Feeling empty is great. But I know that isn't a good idea. I have never wanted to go down that route, and I still don't. I just want to be able to take a couple when I want to go to the toilet, and for them to work. That doesn't seem unreasonable.
Hallucinations & the Mental Health Act
5 days ago
Hi...I used to "abuse" laxatives (and still do at times). And it has "affected" me long-term. I understand the need to feel *empty*, and I'm certainly not one to give advice in what to do or not do, but pls be careful...it's a slippery slope - and works like most other addictions.
ReplyDeleteTake care of you,
Grace
I to used to abuse laxatives but never badly and the only major health issue from my ED is due to laxatives.
ReplyDeleteLaxatives left me with horrid bowel issues including major issues with actually going to the loo - so much so that I regularly look fatter (pregnant) than I am and there is sweet FA that I can do about it.
laxatives just arent worth it honestly
I know. I know I don't want to go there, and that it is a bad idea. And I don't want to take them every day or anything. But surely taking a couple when I haven't been to the toilet for a couple of days should be ok? As soon as I remotely restrict my intake, I go so infrequently, and I find it really frustrating. I take laxatives maybe once or twice a week, so I am not abusing them, and the last time I took them was a couple of weeks ago. I just don't know why they aren't working anymore.
ReplyDeleteOnce or twice a week is pretty regular for taking laxatives, and your bowels will rapidly become lazy because of them, forcing you to have to use them. I'm assuming you're using something like senna which is a stimulant laxative. My advice would be to switch to a bulk-forming or osmotic laxative, (since those are kinder to your bowels) for when you are constipated (although expect it to take a few days to take effect) - things like lactulose, or fibrogel can be purchased OTC.
ReplyDeleteI'd also recommend you increased the fibre in your diet, but know how difficult that can be with ED hanging around.
Sorry if that sounds preachy - just don't want you to end up in a position where you have to take the things daily.
Take care,
Differently
I have also abused laxatives, mainly due to all the meds I am taking which caused constipation. I went to my doctor and she said to take fibre supplement, lots of water during the day or the supplement itself can make you constipated if you don't have enough water. I also eat dry figs or prunes as well or I drink prune juice when it gets too difficult. I wouldn't take the laxatives though because they just made me feel fat and bloated and horrible because of the bloating in my belly.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Sarah
I am always a little on the tight side anyway, even pre ED - my mum goes multiple times a day without fail, and I have never been like that, although I did used to go once a day regularly, and without any discomfort etc, which is what I want again now. I was just trying to make the laxatives do that for me. I don't really have any discomfort still (or I do sometimes, but always have done - it isn't a recent thing) - it is just that I want to go more often than I do. Yes, the ones I have are stimulant types - I assumed that would be better because I just wanted to go more often, rather than be looser. I just get frustrated, particularly when I weigh myself, if I haven't been to the toilet for a few days. I suppose even once or twice a week is more than I should be taking laxatives ideally, although sometimes it will go several weeks and I won't take any. I do want to try and break it before it becomes an addiction, which I know could happen fairly easily. x
ReplyDeleteI used to abuse laxatives really badly. Like, really badly. And I really fucked up my digestive system. And heart (I still get dizzy standing up no matter how much I've had to eat or drink). The problem with laxatives is that you become immune to their effects-- if you use two for a while soon two won't work and you'll need three. Then four, then five, then all of them. I know you're not asking for advice, but I would recommend Colace (docusate sodium). It's a stool softener and it won't give you the immediate gratification like laxatives but it will eventually regulate your system and make it easier to go. I have to use these every day now because of the laxative abuse, but I'm weaning myself off.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
NOS
In the same ad you, I never used to understand why people take laxatives seeing as it really only makes you lose water weight, as opposed to real weight. But then I tried laxatives and I guess I can't help but want that feeling of emptiness it gives me. Unfortunately it can lead to physical dependence on them.
ReplyDeleteTake care,
Cassie x