Thursday, 5 August 2010
Weight freak out
I am freaking out. It is nearly 2am, and I just weighed myself (in my PJs), and I weighed 2lbs more than I did this morning. I do expect my middle of the night weigh in to be heavier, and with these PJs I would expect it to be 1 - 1.5lbs more than I will weigh in the morning, but that means that I will have gained at least half a pound tomorrow, probably a pound, and I am really upset. I haven't eaten that much today. More than I should have had, but I would have thought a maintaining type ammount, not a gaining type of ammount. I don't know what to do. It makes me want to hurt myself in some way. I hate myself for being such a disgusting greedy pig. I am revolting and hideous and I don't deserve to live. I don't know how I will go to ballet in the morning if I have gained weight. I hate myself so much. I want to die.