IF YOU ARE ONE OF MY PARENTS AND HAVE FOUND THIS SITE, PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. THIS BLOG IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, AND HELPS ME A LOT, AND I REALLY NEED YOU TO RESPECT MY PRIVACY AND STAY AWAY FROM IT.

Sunday 28 November 2010

Slightly better day

Today hasn't actually been a completely horrific day! Which is particularly bizarre given that my period started this morning. Obviously I am still feeling shitty, but today has felt noticeably easier to get through than other days recently. I think there are a few reasons for it - I think that starting to sort things out with L via email yesterday has helped. I am no longer feeling like it is an irreparable relationship in the way that I was a few days ago, and that is an enormous relief, because when I was feeling like that it made me feel even more hopeless as I felt like I had lost the only person I really trusted to talk to, and therefore I was completely on my own, whereas now, although we still need to talk things through when I see her, I don't feel like it is a hopeless situation and so I am feeling less alone. Obviously it will take some time and some talking things through, and trying to make sure this situation doesn't occur again, but I am not feeling like the only person I could rely on has disappeared for good now, and that is more of a relief than I think I can express.

Also, today has been pretty relaxed. Admittedly the majority of my days are pretty relaxed in that I don't have to go out and do things that often, but today there was absolutely nowhere I needed to go, or anyone I needed to see, or anything I had to do, and I felt like I needed that. I slept all morning, having not got to sleep until too late, even by my standards, and then this afternoon Fly Away Home was on TV, so I watched that. I like nice, non taxing feel good films like that. And then when that finished I switched over and watched On The Town. And then I went downstairs and watched X Factor, followed by Sweeney Todd with my parents. I am not entirely sure what I have done in the 4 hours since Sweeney Todd finished..... But anyway, my head has been a bit quieter, which has just been a massive relief, and has allowed me to concentrate on things a little bit better, which has just made the day much easier to get through.

Unfortunately I am not expecting tomorrow to be as simple. My niece came to stay the night tonight, and so tomorrow my brother and family are all coming for dinner etc. I don't like it when there are lots of people around - I find it quite stressful. I also find food often goes dodgy when there are people here, as my mum tends to make dessert of some kind, or cake, which I then end up eating and feeling guilty about. I will probably spend most of the time they are here in my bedroom, because I am antisocial like that, but I will then get nagged for being anti social. There also unfortunately appears to be buggar all on TV tomorrow, which is a shame given the success of the TV today. I will have to try and find something else to occupy me. I am not at a point where I can read, or do anything else that involves much brain power, but hopefully my head will be quieter again and I will be able to find something to do. Please be quiet head.

5 comments:

  1. *hugs* I am very glad you feel a bit better.

    Maybe iPlayer or something could occupy you tomorrow? Or some mindless internet game? (Ilove robot unicorn.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm glad your day was better. Good luck tomorrow! (I have a family dinner too, so I can relate.)

    Wishing you well,
    NOS

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know this sounds absolutely cheesy and ridiculous but stay positive. It's amazing that your day yesterday went well :) I'm glad that it was really good. I hope today is going well. You'll make it through the evening. You can do this. Hold on strongly.

    <3 <3
    -Lisa

    ReplyDelete