I have still heard absolutely nothing from L. I am feeling completely fucking abandoned. I don't care what she said about never having to do things alone - I am bloody alone. And clearly saying she could call every day was hypothetical, since she hasn't called at all this week apart from when I called multiple times and she rung back. I know I could call her, but I don't want to. I feel like I have reached out so much this week and got absolutely nothing. It has really hurt me a lot because she has always been so supportive of me and I have always trusted her so much and relied on her so much, and been really attached to her, and now I feel like she has just abandoned me when I have needed her most and doesn't give a shit about what happens to me.
I am still feeling like absolute shit. Still wanting to kill myself. Still really lacking energy.