Wednesday, 17 November 2010
L said no about being referred to the crisis team. She doesn't think it would help. I feel so bloody stupid for asking for something that I obviously don't need. I wish I hadn't asked. I feel like she must think of me as really needy and attention seeking for asking for a referral to them when she obviously doesn't think I need it. I suppose at least now I can feel like I have tried everything - I have been completely honest about my thoughts and feelings, and I have directly asked for more help.
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It's not that you're attention-seeking. It's not that you don't need more help. It's that crisis teams are usually rubbish.
ReplyDeleteYes, they are normally rubbish, but I did not get the impression at all that was why she wasn't referring me. I might copy and paste the email at some point.
ReplyDeleteThey don't know what they're talking about. If you feel your in crisis and need help then,... you DO!!!! You had every right to ask. They were wrong in not helping you. I get fed up of these so called 'experts' who have never walked a meter in our shoes let alone a mile! If someone is asking for help,... then they need it,...
ReplyDeleteDon't give up. Just look for support somewhere else right now. And if that means us in twitter/blog-ville then so be it. We're here for you. (( hugs ))
Your reasons for seeking help from the crisis team were considered and logical, so I don't think you were being attention-seeking. I'm sorry that L didn't think it was the right thing to do. Did she explain why and did she have any other suggestions? Take care x
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you didn't get any more support, but I am not sure the Crisis Team would have helped anyway. I think it was brave of you to ask and at least L is aware you are struggling. She must know how reluctant you are to use the crisis team, so that may indicate how desperate you have been to her. Like Ruby says, did she say why or offer anything else?
ReplyDeleteLike the others, I wonder what her reasons were. And I'm outraged that she said no to the Crisis Team but didn't suggest anything else. Can you go to the crisis team directly, without a referral?
ReplyDelete*Hugs*
xxx
I didn't know if it would help either, as I have said all along. I just didn't see an alternative. Seeing or speaking to someone daily was unlikely to make that much difference realistically. No, she's not suggested anything else. And you can't go to the crisis team directly - you can't even phone them yourself - it is referral only. But as I said, I didn't know if it would help anyway. Everyone just seemed to think I should ask for help so I did, but it hasn't happened. Not much I can do about it. x
ReplyDeleteMy CMHT has an out of hours number which is thrust on me whenever I see them. So I can call someone if I'm feeling bad after 5pm and they will talk to me. Can you not do something similar? It just doesn't make sense to me there there is nobody for you to speak to when you're feeling this bad.
ReplyDeleteWell most areas have the crisis team as the out of hours number, but that doesn't happen here. Out of hours I can call one of the psych wards, but when I have called them in the past there has only been one time there has been someone good who actually talked to me - everyone else just said I should go to A&E if I was suicidal and didn't bother talking to me at all. I don't think there are many options at the moment to be honest.
ReplyDeleteThis is outrageous. They tell you to ask for help and when you do they leave you. has happened to me lots of times. But is stll shocking. Speak to the ward if you need it, samaritans. us - anyone. hang on there. x
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry - after the courage it took for you to ask for help, it is awful that they have seemingly just said no, I like the others would like to know her reasonings behind this.
ReplyDeleteLike La-reve says there is always the Samaritans, and us, just makes me angry that the people who get paid to do the supporting seem to spend twice as much energy ensuring that they aren't supporting anyone, than they do actually doing their job...
{{{hugs}}}
Take care,
Differently
This is ludicrous. How dare she be so dismissive when you are struggling this much?
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others, please phone the ward if you need to. And I have to say at this juncture I'd be finding out the name of L's boss, no harm to her. But I suppose they all stick together when shit hits the fans. Bastards.
Please hang in there as best you can. Thinking of you <3 xxx
I think she genuinely has my best interests at heart. I think it is more complicated than it seems - she often does really go out of her way to give me extra support etc. But I think she does have more faith in my ability to keep going than I feel at the moment. And she might be right, it just feels really tough at the moment and I just feel really desperate. I would definitely not speak to the manager, because a) he is a twat, and b) I think she is genuinely doing what she thinks is right. It just feels so hard.
ReplyDeleteI don't see you as attention-seeking at all. I see you as a very smart girl who is struggling a lot. Please don't beat yourself up for asking for help.
ReplyDeleteBeing that I'm in America and I don't really know exactly what a crisis team does (is it the ER?) I don't know whether L was justified or not in her decision.
Help is out there. If you can't go to the crisis team then you can go to the ER (if they are different-- I don't know) to get yourself evaluated. I really hope you don't take your life. I know I'm far away and don't know you "in real life" but I sincerely care about you and like you very much.
Please take care,
NOS
Thanks NOS. The crisis team are different - they are basically a service that was set up all over the country to help prevent hospital admissions. They tend to be pretty shit all over the country. What they generally do is assess someone (they have the power to admit if they think it necessary) and then they usually make daily visits for a limited time period to try and help people get through periods of crisis without going into hospital. Sounds good in theory, but they tend to be very patronising and not very helpful, and it is difficult because you get different people turning up each day, and so get asked the same old questions repeatedly as they don't bother to read your notes. Also, apparently our team have taken to generally phoning rather than actually bothering to make visits. But hey, it was the only option (I thought was) available, and so I gave it a try. Going to A&E (that is what we call ER) is always an option, but I suspect they would look at my notes from my appointments with L, or contact her, and look at my care plan (which says to avoid admission) and therefore do absolutely nothing. And to be honest, I can't keep fighting like that to get help. It was so difficult to ask for in the first place and I can't keep doing it. I don't have the energy for a start, but also being told no just really fed into all my negative thoughts and made them stronger, and made me feel like I didn't deserve help etc. x
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry it's difficult to get help. It's so hard to even get up the courage to ask for help and then they turn you down! Wow, that truly sucks. So what does L suggest?
ReplyDelete