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Sunday, 19 September 2010
I am really tired. Which is ridiculous as I didn't wake up until 3 this afternoon. Which is also ridiculous. I am sleeping really badly at the moment. And still totally lacking concentration. I tried to start reading a new book I got out the library last night and I couldn't even get through the first paragraph. And it really isn't anything complex - it is a James Patterson book. I read books like that when I have no concentration. What do you do when you don't have the concentration to read the things you read when you have no concentration? I have Clueless on at the moment, which was my favourite film when I was about 10 and I can't even bloody concetrate on it. I don't know what to do with myself. On the plus side I lost a pound since yesterday, which is making me feel slightly better about myself. Although I am still a pound heavier than I was this time last week, which is pretty shit. I really should shower and wash my hair today but I am just too tired and I can't be bothered. I need to have more energy than this tomorrow as I have a ballet class followed by a dance rehearsal. I really feel like everything is too much right now - I don't want to go out at all. I don't want to see anyone. There needs to be a way of pausing life so I don't have to do anything.
I am a 24 year old female, currently embroiled in the Mental Health minefield. My diagnonsense is Borderline Personality Disorder, and I also have problems with Depression, Anxiety and disordered eating. Bippidee is my nickname for BPD, as stolen from the fantastic mentalnurse.
If you know me in real life, then please respect my wish for anonymity here.
You are welcome to add me on Facebook - I am on there as Bippidee Mentalist, and on Twitter as bippidee86.