Today is going to be one of those days. I woke up because the dog was barking his head off, and I thought maybe he needed to go out, so I let him out, then heard him roaring over to the gate barking, so dashed outside, and there were two people from the water board there wanting to install a meter. Needless to say I was in my pyjamas, having just woken up. It was not an acceptable time to be seen in pyjamas (1:45pm) so I mumbled something about not being well whilst they asked me questions about the water supply that I didn't have a clue about.
I can hear new neighbours moving in next door. My old neighbours have gone, and the new ones are moving in today. I should probably go and introduce myself really, but that would mean getting dressed and making myself look presentable, and I really can't be bothered with that. My nephew will be here in about half an hour. I am hoping he will be happy just to play outside with the dog, because I really can't be bothered to do anything. Tonight I am going to the cinema with T to see Salt. Not in the mood for it, but this was the first evening in the last 2 weeks that we were both free, so I didn't like to say no. My concentration is awful, so I probably won't have a clue what is going on, and will be totally confused by the whole thing. I had intended showering and washing my hair and getting dressed before my nephew arrived, since I will have to before going out anyway, but I have been too exhausted and felt too shit to get out of bed, so I will have to throw on some clothes and shower later when he has gone. I really have zero motivation today. I just want to go back to sleep, and stay asleep. Just getting out of bed feels too difficult at the moment. And I will have a hyperactive 5 year old here in 20 minutes. That will really help the situation. I just want to tell everyone to fuck off and leave me alone. But you can't really say that to a 5 year old.....
Dear Mama, on uncertainty
2 weeks ago