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Friday, 4 June 2010
To be or not to be?
I purged again today. And I am really wanting to self harm again. Actually I am really, really wanting to overdose. I don't think I will, but the urges are really strong. The reason I don't think I will is because I would be letting people down, as the play that I was in a few weeks ago is entered in a drama festival next week, and if I kill myself, or even try to, then that would be really unfair on the rest of the cast. But I don't know if that is enough to stop me really. I just don't want to be here. But I will try. I suppose if I have lasted this long I can carry on another week. Right? I don't know what to do.
I am a 24 year old female, currently embroiled in the Mental Health minefield. My diagnonsense is Borderline Personality Disorder, and I also have problems with Depression, Anxiety and disordered eating. Bippidee is my nickname for BPD, as stolen from the fantastic mentalnurse.
If you know me in real life, then please respect my wish for anonymity here.
You are welcome to add me on Facebook - I am on there as Bippidee Mentalist, and on Twitter as bippidee86.