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Tuesday 4 May 2010

Gone, but not forgotten

Just over a year ago, on 2nd May 2009, my incredible GP died. I haven't written about her much here, just mentioned her a few times. She meant a lot to me. I first started seeing her when I came home from uni. Well I say from uni, but actually it was from hospital. I was discharged from the hospital a few days before Christmas, and saw my GP for the first time the day after I got home. I wrote in my diary 'I have registered with a GP here who is so lovely, really sympathetic and supportive. I feel like she genuinely wants to help', and that was true of the whole time I saw her. It took several weeks for the CMHT to start seeing me, and in that time she saw me at least once a week, and talked to me between if I needed it. After I had been seeing her for about a month, she went off sick. She was off for quite a few months. Then she came back, then was off again, then came back, then was off again (this was over a period of about 3 years). She had Cancer. She was only 43 when she died, and had 2 young children.

Whenever she was there she was incredibly supportive of me. She saw me weekly for the majority of that time, although it did move to fortnightly when I was more stable, and I think even monthly occasionally. She always gave me lots of time - it wasn't at all unusual for me to be with her for 45 minutes or so. She was always positive. She always said how she knew that I would get better, and that my thoughts were because I was ill, and that one day I would be happy. She was always very concerned about my safety. On quite a few occasions she tried to persuade me to go into hospital, and when I refused (as I always did) she would always try and arrange for more support for me. She didn't always succeed, but that was down the failings of the CMHT I was under at the time rather than her. She was very into complimentary type therapies (alongside psychiatric medication, not as a replacement for), particularly EFT, which I do think has some mileage - when she did it with me I did find it helped with anxiety, just not with depression/suicidal thoughts.

She was the first professional that I ever felt genuinely cared about me, and not just because it was her job to. She was always very involved in my care - far more than lots of GPs are. She dealt with all my medication, because I refused to see the Psychiatrist I was under. She frequently talked to the CMHT about me. She came to my CPA review. Even when she wasn't at work she was involved in my care. The GP I saw at the surgery when she was off sick was her husband, and he would often check things with her. In short, she was an amazing person. She was a fantastic GP, but also a really lovely, caring woman, with a wonderful sense of humour. I was very attached to her, and I still miss her enormously. I don't believe that I would still be alive if it wasn't for her, and I will never forget how much she did for me. She is still one of the most incredible people I have ever met, and I feel privileged to have known her. RIP.

9 comments:

  1. She sounds like an amazing lady, and it's people like this that restore my faith in humanity. I'm so glad you have positive memories of her, and the health profession could definitely use more great people like this.

    Sarah x

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  2. beautifully written. When you find a good GP it can make such a difference. I was completely choked up (and blubbering) when i found out Dr PJ & J had come to see me in the secure unit.

    If only there more like them!

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  3. Sounds a great GP. You write that you don't think you would be alive still without her. Can this thought and all the help she gave you spur you on. She kept you alive for a reason x

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  4. Agree entirely that a good GP can make all the difference to your care. I'd have been lost without LGP last year.

    I'm so truly sorry that this lady died, and so young at that. What a tragedy. I hope she is at peace.

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  5. Wow, she sounds like an amazing GP and just an amazing person in general. I'm sorry that she passed away. More professionals need to be like her.
    Take care,
    Cassie x

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  6. RIP, your GP. It sounds like she was a truly, genuinely caring individual who went above and beyond for you; many could take a page out of her book. I'm she was taken from this world far too soon.

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  7. As the others have said, sounds like such a wonderful person :) May she RIP.
    *hugs for you*
    x

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  8. She truly sounded like a great person as well as a GP. It does make all the difference to have people who put more into the job than just the 9-5 they are paid to do. I too have found a GP that goes the extra mile to help. He came in early today to fit my appointment around my college times. I wish there were more like these special people. xx

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  9. That was a beautiful, eloquent tribute.

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