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Saturday, 23 January 2010

Weird

I feel really out of it. All floaty and like everything around me isn't real. It is like I am not sure if I am awake or asleep. My heart feels all funny. I have felt awful all day and I don't know what to do. I want a Diazepam but my mum has gone out and I don't think she has left me with any (she looks after my meds - I am not considered sane enough to have them myself). I just need something to feel real. So disconnected.
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10 comments:

  1. Anonymous24 January 2010 at 18:04

    How are you feeling now? Hope a bit better.xx

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  2. Anonymous24 January 2010 at 21:05

    My parents took control of my meds years ago. This included locking up all the various painkillers and cold remedies too. My dad's still a bit weird about it but at least i can look after my own drugs now and get something for a headache without asking.

    Every time I comment I ramble - sorry.

    Hope you're feeling a bit better now lovely xx

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  3. Bippidee25 January 2010 at 01:20

    Still struggling. Lots more periods of dissociation today. Think it is my body's way of trying to keep me safe from myself. We'll see how long it works for.

    Don't apologise for rambling Em, I like rambles. I ramble myself. My mum has looked after my meds for a year or 2 now. Pretty pointless to be honest, because if I OD it isn't going to be on Citalopram, even if I did have access to it! But it keeps people happy.

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  4. Pandora25 January 2010 at 16:52

    *hugs* I know where you are hun, and it completely sucks. I hope you're free of this as soon as possible, but in the meantime be kind to yourself. Thinking of you.

    SI x

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  5. Bippidee25 January 2010 at 16:52

    Thanks SI. xx

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  6. Anonymous26 January 2010 at 07:48

    Hey hun, sorry I don't have anything very helpful to say other than I've had a few experiences of disassociation myself and they are not nice at all, really weird feeling. I hope you have contact with L or another member of your care team this week so you can talk things through with them. I get the urges for diazepam as well when I feel like that but sometimes just getting outside and feeling the cold air, taking a walk lost in the world of my iPod with the dogs or something is the best thing to bring you back to the moment. I hope you feel better soon.xx

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  7. Anonymous26 January 2010 at 22:09

    Hey bippidee. I hope you are feeling better by now. I commented on an earlier post of yours but just realising that you might not have realised because it WAS such an old post (why anonymous blogging I think it was). Anyway, just checking in to say hi and introduce myself as a bit of a lurker.

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  8. Anonymous26 January 2010 at 22:52

    Bippidee, how ru? When is L back? Have u spoken to ne1? Sendin u hugz x

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  9. Bippidee26 January 2010 at 23:42

    Thanks for the comments people. crazybipolar - I did manage to find some Diazepam in the end. Probably not the best way of dealing with it - your suggestions sound far more sensible, but it did help a bit.

    Oh, hi samesky. I hadn't seen your other comment no, I should probably make it email me when I get a comment or something, but I like the suprise of logging on and seeing I have extra comments (geek much?!). I do want to switch to WordPress, but the name thing is a problem. If I can't have this name I want something completely different, but I can't think of anything. I don't really want something that ties me to my diagnosis I have decided, but I am hopelessly unimaginative! Suggestions are welcome!

    Lost, I have just written a new post and have talked about those things in that so won't bore you by repeating myself here!

    xxx

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  10. Anonymous27 January 2010 at 10:36

    Ahh ... names are so personal though, aren't they? It would have to be something that really fit you, and felt right for you. So not much help from me then ... :(

    ReplyDelete

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