IF YOU ARE ONE OF MY PARENTS AND HAVE FOUND THIS SITE, PLEASE DONOTREAD ANY FURTHER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. THIS BLOG IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, AND HELPS ME A LOT, AND I REALLY NEED YOU TO RESPECT MY PRIVACY AND STAY AWAY FROM IT.
Monday, 18 January 2010
Really struggling. Felt so terrible overnight, didn't know what to do with myself. Had to take a couple of Diazepam to try and calm myself down, but I still felt like complete shit. Kept trying to tell myself just to get through until today and I could speak to L. Just called and she is still off sick, they are now expecting her back wednesday. That means not only can I not speak to her today, I won't get to see her for my appointment tomorrow. I can't do this, I can't cope. And there is no point me speaking to whoever is on duty at the CMHT because they will just tell me to go to A&E to be assessed by the duty psych, and I know from experience what a fucking pointless venture that is. I don't even know if I want help anymore. I just want to die.
I am a 24 year old female, currently embroiled in the Mental Health minefield. My diagnonsense is Borderline Personality Disorder, and I also have problems with Depression, Anxiety and disordered eating. Bippidee is my nickname for BPD, as stolen from the fantastic mentalnurse.
If you know me in real life, then please respect my wish for anonymity here.
You are welcome to add me on Facebook - I am on there as Bippidee Mentalist, and on Twitter as bippidee86.