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Tuesday, 25 January 2011
I am really struggling. I saw L this morning, but to be perfectly honest I don't feel like it helped at all. I don't feel like I really ended up talking about anything I feel like I wanted or needed to - it just seemed to go off in a direction that may have been helpful for her in understanding more, but didn't do anything to help me. I wish I could re-do the appointment and somehow change it. Although I don't really know what I did want to talk about. I just feel frustrated that I have had the one hour in a fortnight when I could talk, and I wasted it. Although maybe I would feel like that regardless of what we had talked about. I don't know. I don't know what I wanted her to do, but I suppose I just felt like I needed something. She just made an appointment for a fortnight's time like usual. I suppose I have this appointment on Thursday, but that is just an assessment, that isn't going to help - it will just be going over my history. I will still wait until then and go to the appointment, but I am not feeling hopeful in any way. Quite the opposite to be honest. I am exhausted.
I am a 24 year old female, currently embroiled in the Mental Health minefield. My diagnonsense is Borderline Personality Disorder, and I also have problems with Depression, Anxiety and disordered eating. Bippidee is my nickname for BPD, as stolen from the fantastic mentalnurse.
If you know me in real life, then please respect my wish for anonymity here.
You are welcome to add me on Facebook - I am on there as Bippidee Mentalist, and on Twitter as bippidee86.