I am exhausted. Still. I got to sleep about half 4 in the morning I think but I kept waking up all night/morning. At about 11 I came online for a few minutes but I was too tired to keep my eyes open so I went back to sleep, but again, I just kept waking up. I think it was about 2 when I eventually gave up on sleep, so that should have been a good length night, but it was shit sleep and consequently I feel absolutely shattered. Mind you, even when I have had better nights I have still been waking up exhausted lately.
Friday I just couldn't stop crying. I didn't even know why I was crying, but I just couldn't stop. Today and yesterday I have been back to my more usual state of being quite numb, and feeling really terrible but not even being able to cry. It is weird the way some days I just can't stop crying and other days I don't cry at all, even if I am feeling the same both days.
Don't know what to do with myself yet again. That is why I am writing, but I can't even think of anything to write about. This just feels like hell. Tempted to try and go back to sleep. I am still so tired and at least I wouldn't have to cope with being awake then. Seeing L on wednesday. That feels like an eternity away.
Christmas love to you all
3 weeks ago