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Thursday, 11 March 2010
I am really struggling. I don't really know why. I feel very emotional. Very tired all the time. I had the one night where I got to sleep at 1, but I still didn't sleep well, then the next night I got to sleep about half 4 and again slept badly, then last night was quite disturbed again. So lack of sleep probably isn't helping. My weight is getting me down enormously. I have been trying to be careful with what I have been eating, and am certainly nowhere near 2000kcal a day, but anything I manage to lose on a day when I really restrict goes straight back on if I actually eat. Feeling very suicidal. Hate myself. Feel like I am a disgusting, repulsive person, both physically and inside.
I am a 24 year old female, currently embroiled in the Mental Health minefield. My diagnonsense is Borderline Personality Disorder, and I also have problems with Depression, Anxiety and disordered eating. Bippidee is my nickname for BPD, as stolen from the fantastic mentalnurse.
If you know me in real life, then please respect my wish for anonymity here.
You are welcome to add me on Facebook - I am on there as Bippidee Mentalist, and on Twitter as bippidee86.