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Monday, 29 March 2010

Today

Just spoke to L (had sent her an email last night asking if she could call me today). Finally got to sleep around half 7/8 I think so have had about 4 hours. She doesn't want me to go back to sleep so that I am able to sleep tonight. She wants me to do something physical (I don't mean exercsise, but something that isn't laying in bed) that I can get into that will take at least an hour, and said she will ring back about half 3. I can't think of anything. I don't want to be awake. The only things I can think of doing involve hurting myself and I don't think that is what she was thinking of. I feel really unsafe. Now I am awake I keep thinking that I have about 5 hours before anyone will be home and I could overdose. I can't cope.
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3 comments:

  1. Anonymous29 March 2010 at 15:19

    Hope you're ok and haven't done anything too damaging to yourself. Hang on in there, please.

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  2. Bippidee29 March 2010 at 15:41

    I went for the going back to sleep option. Didn't feel safe staying awake. I feel like I have let L down and that I am a bad patient and not making an effort for not doing what she said, but I don't think I could have kept myself safe if I had stayed awake.

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  3. Pandora29 March 2010 at 18:02

    I'm so glad you went back to sleep. I know L discouraged it, but I'm sure if you explain to her that you felt you were in imminent danger otherwise, she'll be glad you took that option.

    Wish I could say something to help. Sending hugs for what they are worth. xxxxx

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