I got to sleep at 1am last night! Goodness knows how, as I didn't wake up until 3pm, but I felt tired so I thought I would have a Diazepam so my thoughts weren't too over the place, and try to sleep, but I didn't really think it would work, but it did! First time I have been asleep before 6am for weeks! I realise this does not seem a big deal, but I was quite pleased with myself.
I am still keeping up with the food diary. I have done it for 5 days now. It is hard to be honest - when I eat something that I feel like I shouldn't have it is very tempting to just not write it down, as though it will then have had no calories in it, but I know that isn't actually going to help, so I have been very honest - everything that has passed my lips has been written down. Except water, because that seems pointless.
Saw L this morning. Talked briefly about the food diary. Mine and hers. She seemed to find it quite difficult, which let's face it - it is. Writing down every single thing that you eat is hard. Those little tiny snacks that you had, that you would usually forget about when thinking about what you ate that day are all written down in black and white (well, purple and white in my case - I tend to write in purple). I am finding I am eating less on average than I have been recently, because every time I go to eat something I am very aware that I will have to write it down. Anyway, she wants me to carry on doing it until I see her next tuesday, so I have another week of it to go. Showing what I had eaten was a bit hard, as I feel embarassed, and like I will be judged on it, but I think that this was made easier by her having to show me hers as well.
I have decided I definitely have issues with exercise. It is shit really. Sure it burns calories, but it makes me so hungry that I end up eating more calories than I have burnt off. Somewhat counter productive really.
Seeing N tomorrow. Need to remember to get something for my Mum for Mothers Day when I am with her, as I won't have another opportunity to get out really. Well, I could if I wanted to I suppose, but I won't. I don't like leaving the house.
Christmas love to you all
3 weeks ago