Monday, 8 February 2010
Weight
My weight has gone up again. I can't fucking deal with this. I know I need to eat less, but I don't seem able to. I am going to restart writing down everything I eat, maybe that will make a difference. I am not going to ballet tonight - there is no bloody way I am getting in a leotard and tights looking like this. I need to lose weight, fast. I want my bloody tryptophan back. I need some fucking control over something.
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Hi back :)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about needing control. It seems like once one thing starts slipping, everything else seems to follow until there's nothing left. Wish I had some words of wisdom but I can't find any today I'm afraid.
I do Weight Watchers (obviously they don't know I had/have disordered eating) and I find writing things down truly helps.......when I do it. The trouble is when I comfort eat, or just eat for the sake of eating I feel so guilty & "forget" to write it down, or make something up or am forced to compensate through purging.
ReplyDeleteI recently bought Paul McKennas diet book. I've not even opened the damn thing yet and it's taunting me, mocking me for failing. Meah.
Reading through your recent posts, I'm sending you a big mental hug right now, things sound tough, but hang in there (like that poster of a kitten Marge from the Simpsons puts in her home office?!!!) xxx