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Thursday, 31 December 2009
I hate myself. I hate myself for being lazy. I hate myself for being greedy. I hate myself for still being alive. I wish I had killed myself. I said about 2 weeks ago that I didn't want to be here for the new year, and the closer it gets the more strongly I wish that. I wish I had acted on those thoughts. I am weak and pathetic and a waste of space and I hate myself. I wish I could turn back time a couple of days and kill myself. There were too many bloody people around all the time, it was a nightmare, I would never have got away with it. But I still wish I had tried. I don't want to be here so much that it hurts.
I am a 24 year old female, currently embroiled in the Mental Health minefield. My diagnonsense is Borderline Personality Disorder, and I also have problems with Depression, Anxiety and disordered eating. Bippidee is my nickname for BPD, as stolen from the fantastic mentalnurse.
If you know me in real life, then please respect my wish for anonymity here.
You are welcome to add me on Facebook - I am on there as Bippidee Mentalist, and on Twitter as bippidee86.